Challenge: Anticipated Relationship
Afraid. Unprepared. Frustrated. Ashamed.
Anticipated relationships include potential courting, marriage, business, friendship, or expecting-a-new-child-by-birth or adoption relationships. The scenario below focuses on an expectant mother who is anxious to begin, not sure how to be a mother; however, the principles offer hope to any anticipated relationship.
There is hope for you.
Reaction: Fight
She’s angry that she was not taught how to be in relationships and blames her ancestry. Underneath the anger is anxiety that she will fail at this most important role of Mother. She is anxious to begin and does not want to be a failure.
She can win this fight.
There is someone she could turn to with her anger, who would not be taken aback, who would understand every nuance of what she is feeling and thinking (even more than she does), who would not get defensive, and who would ultimately train her to be a fine person and mother. She is anxious to begin but needs only to ask, seek, and knock on the door of one who is perfect at helping her learn to love since he is love.
Reaction: Flight
She’s afraid and ashamed to tell anyone about her anger and anxiety, so she withdraws. She distracts herself so that she doesn’t have to think. Deep down, she wonders, “Why are we here?” But then she brushes that thought aside; it’s easier to forget it…
…except for those guilty feelings.
There is a place where all her needs would be met. And when she arrives there, she will find him who has the answers for life and even death since he is life.
ACTION PLAN:
Recommended Psalms to Sing:
Psalms taken from The Book of Psalms for Worship ©2009 Crown & Covenant Publications. Used by permission.
Recommended Relationship to Study:
Hannah and the LORD in 1 Samuel 1:1—2:10
- You are not alone.
- Your crying out is heard.
- No matter who mocks or misunderstands you, the Lord’s purpose for your life will be accomplished, and so you worship Him.
The Scriptures were quoted from the ESV Study Bible.
General Recommendation:
Read through the whole Bible, some in the Old Testament and some in the New Testament, some in Psalms and some in Proverbs, each day so that you can learn, over time, the created order of things. Do this on a revolving basis to continually meditate on the full counsel of God, learning how you were made, how you fell, and how you have been or can be redeemed. Sing Psalms as they can help you express your rich capacity for emotion.
Journal through your feelings, thoughts, and prayers. The ABCs Connection Journal (sample pages below) can be used as a helpful tool to record your thoughts; its flexible structure is designed for you to learn to connect and be sensitive to the needs of those you know.
EXAMPLE from the ABCs Connection Journal:
In the pages shown below, an expectant mother uses the journal to explore and capture her feelings, thoughts, and prayers.
What happens after you buy a journal?
Use the ABCs Connection Journal as a flexible structure to help guide you in planning out your attitudes and activities and for improving how you communicate in your relationships.
When you buy a journal, you are also supporting the South Sudan Community Church ministry team, Cush4Christ.
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